In spite of the highly-debatable divorce rate of 40 to 50 percent, many women still dream of the day that Mr. Right drops down on one knee and pops the question. And of course the perfect proposal would not be complete without a stunning ring. But engagement rings represent something different to every woman. Before you decide on the biggest (or smallest) engagement ring in the showcase, take a moment and consider why you prefer one over the other.
The sensible thing to do when choosing a ring is to consider what kind of LIFE you want AFTER the wedding. An expensive ring might mean that he has to tap into his savings or take on unnecessary debt.
If you spend thousands on rings, your dress, a lavish ceremony, and exotic honeymoon, you may spend your first few years of marriage working to pay off all of your debts. This could delay buying a home, starting your family, or building your savings. You probably won't spend much quality time together either and he could grow to resent you.
But can we be honest here? Some of us want to be claimed and see that engagement ring as a symbol of how much our men love us. And if we let our insecurities get the best of us, we may insist on a rock that is so big it blinds all of our haters and naysayers. Just like an over-the-top wedding, sometimes the ring is just a way to gloat.
Now keep in mind that your man's ring budget is relative to his lifestyle. He may be successful or even wealthy. In that case, he might be used to buying nice things and have the coins to splurge. You may also have expensive tastes and it is quite likely that he has always known this about you — in this case, the cost of the ring may not be a major point of contention.
You two might also be somewhat conservative when it comes to your individual and collective preferences. Again, you may already see eye to eye on what works for your tastes and his budget. So don't worry about what your girlfriends or your mother have to say on the issue. Do what's best for the both of you.
A red flag to pay close attention to is a man who is extremely selfish. He may seek to control you with money and will exhibit those behaviors while you are dating. He may spoil you, but feel entitled to dictate where you work, how you dress, and who you can befriend.
If he insists on going cheap on the ring and pretty much everything else where you are concerned (dates, birthday gifts, etc.), then you may want to explore those behaviors a bit more closely before you jump the broom. He could be a financial abuser and you are not for sale.
A great piece of advice from an article in Vogue is to look at your engagement ring as an investment. Avoid more trendy styles and focus on quality and appraisal value. Bigger may not always be better unless you and your husband-to-be say so. Remember, it's all relative.